who up tryna get into the cookie jar 🤑 hmu

boss’ uncle died and now i have to get up 1 hour early

just remembered snagglepuss exists

the way i just screamed 😭

teaspoon of pepper just made me sneeze

no. chili’s.

happy anniversary to this banger

what kind of boring ass person doesn’t want a funeral.. rest in peace uncle morris

I do think a lot of my generation's indifference to April Fool's Day comes from watching Squidward's atrocity. The cruelty. The malice. His shadow looms over this date.

dentist told me my teeth look like shit

i want her to step on me

to herb alpert.. perhaps to tijuana brass

wednesday evening

why does every day feel like this

what if we kissed at the food n fill in Peever, SD

my father - who has never texted me anything except happy birthday - just sent me this out of context