anxiety is fun

Things I didnt know before becoming a homeowner: not all bees are good

So, everyone who accuses people of being lazy because of smoking pot, are now saying that it’s a performance enhancer? It’s ok to drink alcohol but cannabis—which grows out of the ground—is a punishable offense? The IOC needs a a major update. As does the world.

The absolute worst 24 hours of my life. americanair

This is how a vaccine works and it is genius. x.com/neverseentit/s…

are you at the Midwestern tonight!? Pizz

Overheard at work: "well my co-worker poisoned my other co-worker" wtf.

The fact that the state of missouri has to entice people with monetary funds to get vaccinated is absolutely outrageous. You are thanking those who have allowed virus transmission to gain something when those vaccinated get a pat on the back.

Overheard in downtown como: "if you kill me, imma kill you back" impossible, sir.

have you ever met someone who needed a swift roundhouse to the face?

I never would have believed you if you told 9th grade me, the shoes I lusted after I would also lust after at 31 BIRKENSTOCK USA

everyone talks about Jaws, but like Deep Blue Sea is better

My colorblind friends think peanut butter is lime green 🤯

If the dating gods don't stop sending baby back bitches my way I'm going to lose it

Overheard at work: "I used to have 22 credit cards"

Overheard at work: "you can get poison ivy from the wind" (I don't believe this to be true)

Ted Lasso is truly wonderful. The world needed this. Tip of the hat to you Jason Sudeikis

I hope I have a boyfriend next year solely so we can dress up as Tommy and Richard #tommyboy

When you lose someone in the group but it's your fault?

My ex bf wears skinnier jeans than me..and he wouldn't consider himself emo 🧐