Accuring severe credit card debt on touch tunes

IM JUST A BABY

Saying da fauq every 5 seconds to see how my boss responds

Quite a few beverages are needed this am

Uplifting morning texts from my boyfriend 🥰🥰🥰

Changing my Uber drop off to your dads house

Got jon batiste and jonbenet ramsey confused for one another 👍🏻

Can nickelback do the 2026 halftime show pls

“I probably should follow him back” talking about Justin Bieber

Don’t you dare let Monday ruin your Sunday funday

I just heard the news that it’s only 10:30 am

The people who think they’re too good for chilis are my biggest opps

Sing to me Paulo

I love a good free tequila shot that doesn’t make me gag 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Nothing more American than drinking a beer singing Toby Keith songs on top of tables at old crow

If you’re not drinking with me you’re drinking against me

Maggie just looked at me and says “you look like you say car-a-mel. Offended is an understatement

Jersey turnpike with a lil bit of line dancing on the side

I wish my 6th grade teacher knew how much I thought about when she split her pants while reaching for her 6th Diet Coke of the school day

I don’t trust people who get sugar instead of salt on their margaritas