"When is Christmas?"

drag race is cocomelon for queer adults

“u should think about cutting out caffeine” would you ask an angel to consider removing their wings?

I know a box of Cheez Its hate to see me coming

babe this is my emotional support pile of unread books

ㅤ

when an ugly man follows u on ig it feels like ur being chased in the woods

i love having people over at my apartment like yesss sit on my couch and drink from one of my glasses

hey a bunch of us from work are meeting up to do tummy time later if you’re free

why is everyone trying to gaslight me into believing halloweekend is right now instead of this upcoming weekend

dude we’re making a long story short tonight if you want to pull up

Its almost like nobody wants to get dolled up and eat a candle lit dinner and then get drunk at a jazz club after in the city anymore

it’s barefoot contessa 2025, baby. we’re buying flowers so the house looks beautiful. we’re baking chocolate peanut-butter cupcakes just because. we’re having fabulous dinner parties to celebrate our friends’ successes. we’re having dessert after lunch, & then again after dinner!

sorry i looked at your instagram story 11 seconds after you posted it but you have to understand i haven’t put my phone down in 6 years

I do not fuck with gentle parenting

can i please come over and look at all your stuff in your room

today should be a federal holiday

You’ll never make me feel bad for having a good time just because you’re having a bad time

“girl fuck you” is gender neutral