69. Nice. 420. Neat. 666. All right. 84. Yes, uh huh. 2. I’m not sure where this is going. 17,453. Please stop.

Coco's Fashion Tips: add a splash of colour to your corporate approved uniform by getting some bright neon shoelaces. Makes any boot, shoe, or flipper shine!

Remote workstation woes? Feeling isolated from your friends, family, and coworkers while you toil away in a secluded room, completely alone while you complete your daily tasks necessary for survival under the capitalist hellscape we all live in? Try looking at a raptorpuppy gif!

Take a hike. That’s right. Get out of here. Why don’t you go fly a kite? Go play in the street. It’s a beautiful day. And you deserve to be outside.

Aries: What did we say about the fuzzy dice? Capricorn: Can you tell us why our new desk plant is dying? We're watering it every day with Vald-ade, that's good right? Scorpio: It's the blue wire, we swear this time.

This just in: the """"turbo gophers"""" have reportedly """"stolen"""" a large number of medications from an abandoned warehouse on Trivium. We're just saying, maybe let those little guys do what they want. 🤷‍♂️

Shoutout to my boy Carl, you're a real one 😎🤘

Did you know: there is technically a spot along the Late Ride track that goes in a loop-de-loop? It's too wide to be considered under the normal loop-de-loop specs and is technically kind of more of a corkscrew but hey, space is weird. TRAIN FACT!

You're telling me a ghost wrote this story?

RIV, gonna miss these fun little guys 😔

*in a weird and awful voice that makes you very uncomfortable* Eat fresh

If I could offer my two cents here, *just absolutely thwaps two pennies into your forehead with an incredible wind-up throw*

*whispered from under your car on a rainy night when you thought you were alone* Eat fresh

Tip your thunderstorms at least 20%.

STAINED GLASS!!!!! #dndads #dungeonsanddaddies

A spider walks into a bar. The bartender doesn’t even notice him. The spider is so small. We’re all very small, when you think about it. #dadjokes

It's almost time to knife a pumpkin.

Listen look listen I know I haven't been on here in ages and nobody goes to twitter anymore but I am back on my The Dragon Shanty bs, have y'all listened to Dragon Shanty yet? You won't regret it I swear, it's so GOOD and MAGICAL and IMMERSIVE and I will yell about it forever.

15 years ago today cinema was forever changed

In 2017, I paid Cards Against Humanity to protect a pristine plot of border land from Trump’s racist wall. But then an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—stole my land and dumped his shit all over it. @ElonMusk owes me $100. #ElonOwesMe100Bucks ElonOwesYou100Dollars.com