I'm a little bit offended that Phil's not in love with me. Let mE SEDUCE YOU WITH MY EYELINER PHIL

it wAS A PHASE DO NOT JUDGE ME

"Who the hell is Bucky?" A raccoon by the looks of it.

Tony keeps staring at my metal arm like its his next meal

MY ANACONDA DONT WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT A PATRIOTIC SOUL HON - Steve singing in the shower

Pepper keeps trying to braid my hair

Please..Phil turn down the Beyoncé it's like 4. Nobody wants to hear you muttering about how good you can twerk aT 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING

I fouND A MAKEUP ARTICLE ON MY BED MY EYELINER IS PERFECT SHUTUP

Tony please stop spelling dick on my arm in magnets because I killed your parents. They would've died anyway dude.

STEVE PLEASE STOP PLAYING A WHOLE NEW WORLD YOURE STILL NOT ADAPTED TO THIS SOCIETY

STEVE WHO IN GODS NAME IS SHARON

NO I DONT CUDDLE WITH STEVE WHENEVER I GET NIGHTMARES

“ㅤ: "The Guyliner Soldier: NO I DONT CUDDLE WITH STEVE WHENEVER I GET NIGHTMARES" he totally fucking does” it was oNE FUCKING TIME

somE ASSHOLE WHISPERED HAIL HYDRA IN MY EAR

SUN SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T NEED YOUR HEAT RIGHT NOW IM BOILING AND IM SURE IVE BLINDED NICK FURYS OTHER EYE BECAUSE OF THE GLARE ON MY ARM

The least Hydra could've done was give me a haircut from time to time

“Anthony Edward Stark(IW): The Guyliner Soldier You look like a raccoon” A fashionable raccoon

All I can hear right now is Breaking Free so I'm assuming that Clint is in the building