Tipping my fedora and saying “carpe diem” to the register kid at Jimmy John’s

MGK and his mom have beef

These weed names are outta hand

Twitter would have me believe Gen Z is this respectful, tolerant generation of anti-misogynistic kids, but every Gen Z Tik Tok is like “when you hold the door for her and she don’t suck you off on the spot”

*to homeless guy shitting on my porch calling me slurs* hate has no home here

One of my proudest works

Don’t let anyone who pisses dark yellow ever give you advice on anything

I enjoy how Ben Affleck’s just looks like a bloated guy on Halloween

College Jeopardy championship

Got my boy Arthur looking like Lena Dunham in Season 5 of Girls

A good day for Facebook memories

Yo this is mad wild

Would never get involved with a gang, but I think I could handle the role where you just spray paint a garbage can outside Walgreen’s

Twitter’s always promoting me the “music” topic and it’s just some child saying something like “JuiceWrld was different different”

The content aggregators are finding me

Too eerily similar to Kim. Reminds me of when my ex broke up with me and immediately started dating an alcoholic scarecrow

I’m back on here after a couple of years at a terrible time to be tapped into public consciousness, and I’m ready to act a whole ass