Sorry guys, but this one is too good not to share and it does not work in English: Lehrerin: "Bilde einen Satz mit 'Weihnachtsfest'!" Schüler: "Das Rentier hält sein Geweih nachts fest."

And, happy birthday, Cliff Williams. Karpe diem!

Two blondes out in the wood looking for a Christmas tree. After two hours the one says: "what the heck, then let's just take one without ornaments."

"Mom, I have a date with the cute postman." "That's not what I meant" father!" "Age doesn't matter" "Thats not what I meant"

This is Keith Richards and his daughter. If she ever dies, he will inherit everything. Happy birthday #keef

I need your help: Do I put the frozen pizza with or without the foil into the hot water?

Thanks God I am not a single. I just realized how painful it would be not to have someone fixing the wrapping paper for the holiday presents.

My wife said she wanted something for Christmas that goes from 0 to 100 in under three seconds. I hope she's happy with the scales I got for her.

Kids calls into the kitchen: "Mom, the Christmas tree is burning!" "Kid, it doesn't burn, it's lit up!" "Mom, now the curtain is lit up too."

Happy Holidays everyone.

Nicole's daughter Fabienne wants a horse for Christmas. We ususally had goose for Christmas, but let's try something new.

Two years ago - I thought I had seen everything lighting wise - after all, I worked with #gerthof - may he rest in peace. Then, there was #ozzyosborne's #ozzfest

The farmer comes home from the doctor. His wife: "What did the doctor say?" "He needs stool, blood, and urine samples from me." "Then just leave him your dungarees, then he's got everything he needs."

"Do you still need something from the drugstore?" "Yes, toothpicks." “They are unhealthy. I'll bring you interdental brushes. " “If you explain to the guests why New Year's Brunch interdental brushes are in the cheese cubes, then go ahead."

Remembering my sister Christine. Would have been her 58th birthday today. #happybirthday and #rip. Guido

Nicole's daughter Fabienne laughed this morning when I went to the studio while she is on vacation. Then I quickly changed the WiFi password.

Just wanted to share this important information with you: Right now I have more followers on Twitter than the incumbent President of the United States of America.

Can we please let our children teach in the state parliament where the air filters are and toilets are in order and clean, and let the politicians in the ailing schools do politics?

Another year has passed. RIP John.

Today 11:30am Los Angeles time (20:30 in Germany): live streaming Teaflix - the interview show with the fabulous Ruth McCartney on fb.com/DrAngieMcCartn…