Aren't we supposed to catch Kony this year or was that canceled?

Don't you hate when you buy a bag of packaged air and there's chips inside it? Pisses me off.

If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I'm trying to say is, you look like Shrek.

I'm not anti-social, I just hate most people.

I hate everything and you.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer? Good.

Don't call me maybe.

I want to hear Taylor Swift’s ex-boyfriend’s indie record that’s much cooler than hers.

I don't like morning people... or mornings... or people.

Everything you love is terrible.

Good morning? There is no such thing.

You only live nine times.

This is my happy face.

This is where fun comes to die.

I hate Mondays.

Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because it's dead.

Of all the nine lives I've lived, this is the worst.

I believe in hate at first sight.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way... to Hell.

Today is a new day. And I hate it.