Okay street whore.

/ craigs been back for .2 seconds and hes already violating everyone

⠀ I am craignough ⠀

I wouldn’t sleep with you if I didn’t pay you. Are you insane? I only pay for pricey whores. Does uhhhh . . [ Checks wallet. ] I’ve only got six hundred in cash on me right now. ⠀

/ its the way one of my friends met alex just recently. i would fucking Kill to be in their place i

/ anyways whenever that ap comic comes out is when i’ll officially revamp this fucker and write him properly rather than give him a few cameos probably.

Dude me too i would’ve fuckin’ bawled bro. Kevin Bacon’s so important to me but like don’t worry he just started reappearing in those electric car commercials again so you don’t have to cry anymore.

Oh. Uh, drinking binge in the Hamptons. You know how that goes.

If I did that it wouldn’t be an ‘hamptons getaway retreat’. The whole point is to like, avoid all your problems with a vacation.

What?? Noooooo baaaaaabbeeeee . . baaabe nooo i said to get away from All my problems not just You. Don’t take all the blame baabe

BABE PLEASE NOT THE COUCH

⠀ Don’t understand why people complain about being short. There’s loads of cool short people like who the fuck wouldn’t wanna be compared to Gimli ⠀

Lame. You’re such a trend follower.

⠀ Wonder what would happen if you snorted ectoplasm ⠀

⠀ You know what? I’m not mad. Because at the end of the day we’re all just cum. ⠀