Ruin their day before they do yours.

Did we ever find out how many licks it takes till you get to the centre of the ?

There's comfort in not hearing well from time to time

good morning to men with good intentions and a loverboy mindset, rest of you think about what you did

Me: I might fuck around and burn it all to the fucking ground *looks at full moon Oh. Never mind.

How do people not wake themselves up when they snore

Did any of y’all turn into a werewolf last night?

idk bro but sounds like you need to move to the country and eat a lot of peaches

Cat: I am busy making biscuits, pets can wait!😹❤️

imagine asking a blind girl out in braille & she leave you on felt

Be mentally attractive. Lust expires.

bullshit canceling helmet

It dropped below 100 degrees this week so I am MAKING SOUP and you can't stop me

My kink is collecting checks with my name on them.

I have never listened to a Coldplay song on purpose.

increasingly alone but very happy

Good morning to you all dear friends 🌞🪻

When I eat an Oreo, my first thought is definitely not "I should grab a coke with this".

I love writing when I hit rock bottom.