attracted to people having a hard time.

this is the week I crash a rental car

saying “jacked up” whips major ass

these are my references: Tom, Dick, and Harry.

in 2008 someone told me Thom Yorke had sold out with The Eraser.

A guy on the subway was selling turtles today. I said, “Cool turtles.” He said, “Thanks. Watch this one here. He’s about to do a backflip.” I looked at the turtle. “No I’m just kidding,” he said.

it’s called a pentax bc people who use them are very pent up but they won’t ax for help.

real men take drugs

1337x.to

I will regrow the fucked hair cells in my ear by listening to the sweetest best music.

my doctor told me I have a "fucker's body"

you poor guy. you're not normal.

we all love and miss the Croissant-tree

inordinate - adj. un-computer like.

i sucked my whip

helping women with their crossword puzzles is noble. an unfinished crossword leaves a lady cross and confused.

Hermaneutics - n. the study of the television program "The Munsters."

smoking a cigarette at the climbing gym.

busted my head open at the climbing gym.