Quarantine is quickly dividing us into who has a beach house and who doesn’t

It’s crazy I miss the days when my alarm going off meant something

This week’s been so long I’m just glad it’s finally thursday

My mom thought bad bunny was an easter thing send help

For all you worried at home, turns out the ice cream truck guy is in fact an essential worker

Hoping my landlord curves our final grade on house cleanliness

Found out trouble getting out of bed is a symptom of covid- I must be going on like 8 years of constant infection

It’s crazy how much more devastating covid is when that 11th person shows up to the party

The man that keeps me on Twitter never fails to pull through John Rich

Never been great at trivia but you can bet I’ll know how many electoral votes Nevada has from now on

Who decided butter belongs on pancakes

I want to say thanks to ⁦Baker Mayfield⁩ for giving Jacob so much love in his final days. Jacob may not live to see your Super Bowl win but he will be a guiding source above. #NEGU #Browns

It’s almost like we should have elections to decide pres instead of seeing whose mob’s the biggest

The concession got lost in the mail

Call your grandparents

Being the clean roommate is a thankless job

Just read a roofing company’s billboard that said “hot shingles in your area looking to get nailed.” Small town Ohio is nowhere near the pocket

This reads like an onion headline

Imagine being the first girl at college to discover private stories, like the creation of the forward pass the other team never saw it coming