sure, i ask myself “what would Jesus do?” (WWJD) more importantly, i ask myself, “would st. paul write a scathing letter from prison about this action?” (WSPWASLFPATA)

Bangs ate this up so bad this is exactly what billionaires need to be doing!!

UPDATE FROM THE CATSITTER.

The lad's only just been born.

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back in work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever for some reason

I plan to badly abuse this knowledge

The onion is going to go out of business

The Bible was very much not written in English

the fact that galentines day got so corporate people don’t know parks and rec popularized it …. give amy poehler a gun actually

me and my cat while i'm holding her against her will

Convinced my 44 year old therapist to confront her husband about not liking her instagram posts and left the session feeling so empowered by the realization that while she can't make me better, i can make us both worse.

me every day going to work as a middle school teacher because i’ve been roasted too many times

I wonder if God knows he can just talk to me normal instead of all these lessons and riddles and side quests. Bring back talking to ppl directly through burning bushes.

I feel like that double knee slide ranks up there with the lift in Dirty Dancing

I’ll always mourn the loss of the reputation tour on Netflix

The US women’s hockey team got a fancy meal in Milan with Stanley Tucci. The Men’s Team got McDonalds in the White House with a dictator. The women are the winners here. Thank you Stanley Tucci. A class act all the way.

WE NEED MORE FIBER

my future career was built here that i left to be a teacher here