Top 10 best compliments: 10. You 9. Can't 8. Rank 7. Them 6. Because 5. They're 4. All 3. Equally 2. Nice 1. When you're up next in kickball and someone tells the outfield to move back

Having a child: -painful -expensive -exhausting Naming your dog Kyle -hilarious -thought-provoking -kyle

#BreakfastSurreal clearly ate the breakfast of champions #MadGains

not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time i truly felt free

I might black out tonight

I think smartphones are ruining our lives but also if I had to go to the airport in 1998 with just my wits & a subway map I’d kill myself

they are brothers

Struggling w/ being thankful this holiday season? Thank God 4 sensory adaptation so however crappy ur life is at least youll get used to it😂

Hey Betty White when are we meeting up?

“Your mom” jokes aren’t nearly as funny in college because it actually makes people sad and miss their moms...

Ravioli ravioli give me the answers to my examioli