alright somebody needs to come to my show, put Sophie on facetime and prop their phone up in the first row like a parody of a Black Mirror episode where everybody goes on dates with electronic devices

oh no it’s the last week of the fringe and they’re playing Dreams by The Cranberries in this restaurant… time to submit to melancholy

five more nights of me doing stand-up comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival

Fringe tip: be in bed for 22 hours a day

the dark side of fame

It’s even better to detach shame from vulnerability and desire.

all done :)

Arts funding

I get it, I do, this is such a crazy thing to write on a fire station

yearning and wistful gazing are gonna be coming back in a big way this autumn

muting myself on a phone call to throw up, completely sober, because my hips hurt in very chic and fashionable 26 year old way

when will it be my turn to walk down a long hallway with a candelabra and a tremor in my voice?

Brat Summer is dead!!! I now declare it Hag Autumn

I do not want to read an AI-generated description of a book!!!! google used to show you a synopsis written by a real person when you looked up a book and all of those synopses still exist but they are now choosing to show me one that is significantly worse for no reason!!!

Still one of my favourite tweets. I feel this so deeply.

imagine if they put the breaking news in the crossword

🎟️ westendcomedy.co.uk/whats-on/

one of my favourite things about being alive is sometimes not being able to remember if a meal was really excellent food or if you were just on holiday and having a really excellent time