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bouncing on it in a way that invokes the old gods

Thinking about getting really into rabies again

Sorry for holding up the line at the ice cream shop because I tried 13 samples. It’s just that if I panic & regret the flavor I get, I might kill myself

every time i go anywhere alone i expect to churn out the next great american novel and i end up instead feeling that i do every small thing irrevocably wrong, that i was never learned on the correct gait or how to hold my head or a spoon right. anyway im going to the cliffs alone

I love America but it should stay on tv where it belongs

hi so ‘til death is the phrase you’re looking for till death is like the death of a cash register just you know before you engrave anything on a ring or launch your etsy shop or something

28 years later is deeply affecting, takes WILD swings, is generally cool as fuck, and features a monster dong that honestly scared me a little. I love movies!!!

scaring the hoes by pronouncing vice versa correctly

Welcome to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, My Chemical Romance

Six weeks till #edfringe? Here, have a time-ordered list of gig recommendations: noblefailure.org/ed25 With e.g. Andy Barr, Grace Jarvis, Jaz Mattu, Jessica Fostekew, Laura Lexx - Touring NOW!, Michael Balazo, Nate Kitch, Paul Savage, Sikisa Comedy, and 300ish others. Wahoo!

But I thought girls matured faster than guys? Or is that only when you’re making excuses for dating teenagers?

they suspended a dancer for bringing a stranger into the hotel room she was sharing with another girl on the team, but they’re full grown adults employed by a million dollar company! why wouldn’t they have their own damn rooms?

Male musician biopic: here’s how he was an asshole and he still succeeded Female musician biopic: here’s how a male relative or partner ruined her life

NEW PODCAST EPISODE: Getting Fingered by a Ghost Acupuncturist with Michael Hing ✨ this week on The Agonies we chat about the ongoing maladies, realising you’re going to be a parent while high on MDMA & begging a dentist to shave your teeth michael hing

shout out the 60 SONGS that got left on my shortlist triple j ✨ Australia makes some of the best art in the whole world, never forget this

everyday i open this app and this is all i can think about