Frat house? More like fart house.

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this song I’d have 10 cents

If you order “one large fry” instead of “one large fries” don’t expect me to respect you

Sorry is this what you’re ordering ??

The only fights I get in are tickle fights

Let’s say…hypothetically (of course)…someone had a carton of expired eggs….how would that hypothetical someone dispose of said eggs? Crack em into the garbage? Fry em and then chuck em? Whole egg into bin? Totally not a pressing issue or anything just curious

Don’t let the rats near my toes

If I don’t have Swiss chalet in the next 4 business days I will commit a crime

Why are you trauma dumping on the coat check girls sir??

Can I hire henry cavill (as superman) to cauterize my nostril with his eyes

Just heard Ludacris made the season 3 euphoria sound track…?

I am solely a utility texter

Having adult acne feels terminal

Hot girls bring a change of pants to the trampoline park

rooting for them today

i love the super bowl

who’s the funniest person they could replace biden with. i say lin manuel miranda

sean but it’s short for parmesean cheese

Well I’m only 3 1/2 in dog years