You're my Senator. Please let Speaker McConnell know that we need you in session working on COVID-19 legislation more than we need you making sly jokes about beer. If you do the first, I'd also welcome you doing the second. Do your job.

Trying to collect the other fruits on #ACNH.  I've cashed in at least 50 Nook Miles Tickets and only gotten apples, coconuts, pears (I'm Apples). What am I missing here?

Slow day, huh? :) Filters are your friend.

So glad we stocked up on flashlights. Power outage #6, despite assurances from Oncor that the root cause was fixed the last 5 times.

I'm also beginning to realize that it might have been a mistake to build the entire AWS C++ SDK on my laptop.

Isn't the expectation that Elon Musk will improve Twitter kinda like thinking the schoolyard bully from the rich neighborhood will improve the schoolyard?

Instead of telling kids not to play video games, adults should play too. Compared to kids who don’t play, those who play 3 hrs/day have better working memory & impulse control. Experiments show cognitive benefits for adults too. Video games are a form of exercise for the brain.

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.

Where's the tile for wearing a gown with tribbles hanging from it? JCPenney #PlaytoGive

Exciting when your work makes the news.... #iworkatjcp x.com/jcpnews/status…

It takes a unique wedding to get us both eaten by Sharknado. (In our super cute JCPenney #jferrar). #whenitfits

Got two friends hitched to each other this weekend in our JCPenney #jferrar.

"I've written a book about it," was the perfect lowkey HRC shade. #Debates2016

have seen some good jokes tonight but it's worth mentioning that easy dismissal and mockery sure look like elitism to most of the country

"Stop and frisk worked really well." - Shit said by people who've never been stopped and frisked.

At #shoporg16 listening to MOHAMMED RAMEND's keynote on digital turnarounds in 100 year old companies JCPenney. #jcpdigital #iworkatjcp

Does she own EVERY "formal" pantsuit? #debate