The juxtaposition of seeing 10 people in a lineup with the first 9 wearing surgical masks and the 10th guy smoking a cigarette will never not be funny.

He’s been sitting like this, staring at the wall for 25 minutes.

A superpower humans haven't considered is the incredible sleep/wake cycle of cats. 7:00 - coma 7:01 - brb. gonna chase this squirrel up a ladder, you guys 7:03 - coma, again

I'm on my parents' speed dial under: CMPUTR BROKN

Imagine an Ancient Mayan warrior's reaction if you showed him a functioning cigarette lighter. That's how I'm going to react if the sun ever comes out again.

I'm gonna socialize so hard when all this is over and go to my friends house with sourdough bread and french kiss their ear and sanitize their pets Please help me I can't remember what happens

An old lady saw this fern in my cart at the garden store and asked me how much it was. I said I have no clue cuz I didn’t look at the price. She screamed, “MUST BE NICE!” and stormed away. My brain will never forget that incident even if I tried.

School’s out for summer? Great! School’s out forever??? Even better!! School’s been blown to pieces? That wasn’t necessary.

Craft beer snobs love to shit all over Budweiser but it’s 148 degrees and nobody wants a triple fudge cream ale with hints of nutmeg and garlic.

The Leafs top line looks like three guys who got kicked out of the food court at the mall for pouring Mountain Dew into the plastic flower pots.

One positive from Covid is that we get to see what John Tory would have looked like if he'd been there to sign the Declaration of Independence. #TOpoli

Four years of peace.

Ignore everyone who chirps the 5 inch. We are right. They are wrong.

Nick Suzuki’s dad was my dentist in London. We had a long talk when he put the boys into hockey for “exercise”. Good decision Rob! Kinda nailed it.

Found this in the closet. I've never seen anything like it. Friday The 13th: The Franchise 🪓 Bought it in 1996 on Yonge St. in Toronto. Was wandering around with Gary Pullin

i saw SNFU at the elMo in 1998-ish and Chi Pig tossed a can of Bud Light into the crowd. it hit me in the eyebrow and i started bleeding all over the place. my shirt was soaked. no one cared.

Watching a nature show with David Attenborogh is so nice until the animals start eating each other.

Just got back from Taekwondo Camp. Did I miss anything??

Sometimes it's nice to take a social media break to grow some flowers, eat a pie, build an ark, shave your legs, charge your phone, fix the toilet, drive to London, solve a crime, fight a tiger, burn a barn, and do some laundry.

Fun idea. When you beat a team in the playoffs, you get to pick one guy from their team to join yours for the rest of the tournament. You leave one of yours behind. He has to take the bus home. NHL