Twitter's current vibe:

For everyone reading this post Just remember that your life has purpose Today, it's purpose was bringing up my view count.

Artists on American twitter: "Here's why AI should be turned off!" Artists on Japan Twitter: "Here's some of my art! I painted this from the hospital!"

My secret 7-layer chip dip recipe: Warm up a can of chili for 2 minutes in the microwave Eat it with chips

Four years ago, I planted a cherry tree on my dog's grave Seeing Japan celebrating their sakura festivals, I went to check on the tree It looks completely barren. Not even a bud yet! So if you missed sakura festival, mine won't be until May, I guess? You're all invited. BBQ on me

Civilians don't understand how difficult it is to be a nurse

My wife's superpower is turning on the sink and walking away.

What in the vibecode hell is wrong with aliexpress? You have to log in 3 times to track an order from the email that says "track your order."

"Harry, we've made a terrible miscalculation. This isn't a defense potion. It's pure bleach. That's why this place smells like a public pool. It'll KILL me to drink it Harry. Get your wand out of my face, I know what I said, Harry! No please, I don't want to die, Harry!"

Until the language barriers came down, this was the only established example the rest of the world has been working with for "Japanese Humor": youtu.be/l3A_jw2xO6k?si…

The algorithm will only show this post to the most important people on this app. Congratulations! You made the cut

Why is it that my dogs' fur is always so silky and soft While everyone else's inferior dogs' coats are coarse and rough to the touch in comparison?

Finally some proper recognition.

Women in the shower: "Does he still think I'm pretty? We didn't even make eye contact yesterday. Oh no it's my weird hips isn't it?" Men in the shower:

So who approved the artwork on the TMNT magic the gathering cards? I get that the digital version of the art might look alright on a backlit screen But the ink on the cards is so dim. It looks awful for most of the cards. U have the read the titles to know what you're looking @

The worst post you've ever made was stuck on someone's timeline today.

Unreleased Norm Macdonald audio (animation by Aron Fromm)

Writing 'chemistry' into a movie screenplay seems to be a lost art. I basically have to endure movies these days. They're just so bad.

The timeline's showing me some spooky stuff. Some of you countries aren't doing so well.

Twitter should indicate accounts where the male user sits down to pee.