clipping my dog’s toenails…

me at bunco trying to fit in with the girlies

it’s so insane when someone has a poodle and just gives it the ole “puppy” haircut. give that bitch a wacky little haircut! give it a pompom tail + perm ears! that’s what poodles WANT. they WANT to be gorgeous little gay dogs!! but no. ratty puppy cut every time. it’s disgusting.

guy in my meeting is trying to talk to me about Rochester, NY but he doesn’t know that the only thing I know about Rochester, NY is that Rosalie Cullen is from there

Me at 16 waiting for my boyfriend from Blackfoot to show up so we could go to dinner:

something about me is Stop Emailing Me and also No I Cannot Hop On A Quick Call

all the 35-year-olds with brown hair in Oppenheimer waiting to deliver their single line of dialogue

RIP Paul Rueben's (Pee Wee Herman) The opening to Pee-Wee's Big Adventure is an absolute classic. The Breakfast Machine

I can't believe we lost Pee-Wee Herman. PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE and PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE are masterpieces of silliness. Pee-Wee could even make eating breakfast funny. RIP to a legend.

RIP, Paul Reubens. After graduating high school in 1970, Reubens attended College of Fine Arts, Boston University for 1 year. In 1971, he moved to LA. "Pee-wee's Big Adventure"(1985). As Pee-wee Herman in the "Biker Bar" scene.

Harry Styles is dating former Late Late Show Host James Corden, TMZ reports.

imo it’s weird that andy samberg and kate winslet have met each other

♡ 𝐹𝑜𝓃𝒹𝓁𝓎 𝑅𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔤𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔶 𝔦𝔯𝔬𝔫 𝔰𝔲𝔭𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔰 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 ℭ𝔬𝔰𝔱𝔠𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔡

there should be a ride at disneyland where they kill you

I think levitating in the air like the girl in The Exorcist would feel really nice

Minas Morgul would be a beautiful name for a baby girl

I love my husband but he really is always changing the tv settings

they need to serve this on airplanes

my perfect saturday would go: wake up, iced chai, get bonked on the head by a giant caveman club, farm-to-table brunch, fight with husband in the car and I win, book store, guillotine and my head rolls around spraying blood and everyone goes ewww omfg

you’re beautiful you remind me of a bug