the concept of a feeling based on fact

yeah no sorry i can’t go out tonight. i have to stay up until two billion o’clock to see The characters . yes it’s urgent

every pet owner has a foundational nickname from which 58 other names ripple outwards. the sourdough starter name

Cat noises in theory: mew, meow, hiss, purr Cat noises in reality: wâ, wī, nyáwoo, nghöôh, wœ, mræ, pragĥ

I was somewhere far worse, my friend: LiveJournal

"you're so cringe" it's okay. I understand. I'm in my thirties and none of that is real

so it turns out if you shoot missiles at the country that controls The Straight Where We Ship Everything, it becomes very expensive to ship everything. Follow me for more hard-hitting geopolitical insights.

problematic age gap between my plan and my execution

Yeah

everything just circles back to drag

don’t make me tap the sign

Neurotypicals: "If you haven't used it in a year, donate it." ADHDers: I haven't used it in 7 years but I remember exactly where I was when I got it and if I give it away something bad will happen and also what if I need it.

The crime of not being everybody’s mommy all the time. Every woman’s crime, really.

yes and it was called avengers tower

April fools doesn’t hit the same living in a misinformation epidemic

the fact that astronauts in space still have to deal with microsoft office products feels unfair. like you’re in space. that’s an earth problem