I thought I wanted a coffee, but now I’m not sure

The Papua New Guinea Courier's UK correspondent has been to Blackpool.

"Now that she has reported, we will be able to move on". And there it is. The period in between 'can't talk about it because of the report' and 'let's move on from the report' lasted exactly as long as it took him to misrepresent it.

For me, it's the way you can place the emphasis on any word in the sentence and create seven different but equally ominous implications

I’ve never met Lauren, but I know I don’t like her.

Why, only this morning I was thinking how much I’d love to travel in a machine that combined all the best bits of Hindenburg, Chernobyl, Titanic, and a Travelodge.

BREAKING: I can confirm the mainstream media is no longer platforming Mick Lynch because he kept making us look like lying dickheads and it was really embarrassing x

Oh my, this is too perfect

WORST. REMAKE. EVER

Do you still want to keep the monarchy? #KingCharlesIII #QueenElizabeth #Politics #Poll

If you believe that the biggest problem in the UK is that very rich people don't have enough money, then Truss and Kwarteng have done a great job.

Classical recipes: Caesar Salad.

A functioning economy.

Chancellors, sir. Thousands of ‘em.

I thought golf was supposed to be relaxing.

Pitch: The Union, hosted by Mick Lynch. Like the Apprentice, but it's just Lord Sugar cleaning filthy commuter trains at 3.30am for £8.50 an hour.

Last day of Dry January. Tomorrow… FEBREWERY

Mark Summers Sanjeev Kohli I ordered four kindles from Amazon and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.

Big thanks goes out to "political correctness"