Me looking at my bank account after a "treat yourself" spree

I’d rather live next door to someone who crossed the oceans with a child to escape death and violence than a citizen who wouldn’t cross the street to help a foreigner.

When an outfit doesn't turn out the way I imagined in my head

move on.

have you noticed how peaceful your life has been since you stopped dealing with certain individuals

it really is

i’m crying, football fans need to donate their brains to science 😭😭😭😭😭😭

What an evil evil women.

Nobody: Me:”Can you crack my back”

i dont mind people who talk my ear off, but typically they are horrible listeners. why is it that i can sit and listen to you speak for an hour, ask questions and be engaged, but when i speak you’re like “ya so true..” then its right back to you. like oh boo!!!

Being my friend is understanding that sometimes I reply back in 2 seconds, sometimes after 30 days but either way, ain’t nothing personal

These lads deserve a medal, they found the creepy nonce that films random girls on nights out in Manchester 👏👏

Just got back from Tesco. The way some people treat shop workers winds me up. Worked in retail for 6 years and I do not miss it one bit. It’s not a 19 year old uni students fault that you’ve decided to leave your shopping until 2 days before Christmas you entitled bellends

This is just perfection

We will never get a moment like this again! #loveisland

I gotta marry somebody that takes holidays seriously. A family person. Birthdays, graduations, anniversaries etc, must all be celebrated fully in my household😌

“I’m going to take a nap for half an hour” me 6 hours later:

So it’s the big day tomorrow and to keep up with tradition here is your favourite ValenTIMES video from Oakmall, Greenock. ❤️😂

Elvis Presley’s last performance