Something like this?

GULP

🚨 Exclusive: A first look at Newcastle's new No.9 Yoane Wissa. Four-year deal agreed. £55m package.⚫️

Just realised Woltemade went for 27, as in 2+7 = 9, as in a different kind of 9 and it’s his mums birthday! He’s a football mundial hipsters wet dream isn’t he? #nufc

🚨BREAKING: Yoane Wissa is DONE ! Newcastle have a new striker !!! 🔥

🚨 ✅ DONE DEAL: Newcastle United have signed Yoane Wissa from Brentford for £50m + £5m. 4️⃣ Wissa, who turns 29 on Wednesday, has signed a 4-year deal at SJP. 3️⃣ #NUFC third time lucky with a Wissa, having had bids of £25m & £40m turned down 💰 9️⃣ 🙋🏻‍♂️ Wissa will wear the number

You won, Alex. Take your money and get off my property.

It’s the “Read Time 1 min” line that gets me 😂

Handball.

You can literally tell on this.

Just watched Woltemade do thank you video to VfB Stuttgart - class act! I wonder if Isak will so much as mention his old club and the incredible work Howe did to make him the player he is, I suspect not #nufc ⚫️⚪️

We are delighted to confirm the signing of forward Yoane Wissa from Brentford for an undisclosed fee. 👊

Burn, Schar, Joe and Bruno all candidates

👀

⚫From "Rejection FC" to a record spend 🤑 ⚪Effect of 'leaks' 💭 ⚫How Isak mood changed after Ekitike joined #LFC 🔮 ⚪Andy Howe led incomings ⬅️ ⚫Stronger squad, lower ceiling? ⚖️ 👀 Inside #NUFC's summer - an exhaustive read on an exhausting window: nytimes.com/athletic/65887…

And he's Villa's number 9️⃣

Good god, I wonder if this is why we pulled plug on Osula deal #nufc

Couldn’t believe it, Keith Duffy!!!

Theres always 1 dickhead who ruins a good photo (fergie)

Shite like this is just pandering bollox! Just remember all they’re trying to get you to do is like them and waste your heard earned with them! “Generational head loss” - what are you, 15?