Lake Michigan kinda hung

AI is getting smarter. I did the yearbook photo thing and looked like a complete bof.

Make sure there's no rainbow pride tape on your stick when it's being shoved up a rookies ass we wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about the sport

Don't let your circumcision determine your circumstance

I will be petitioning city council to keep the splash pads open during winter. Our children should not be denied the benefits of cold water therapy.

Coffee without eating breakfast has me feeling somewhere between the limitless pill and bathsalts

We go out just to come home

Sorry to all the trick or treaters I couldn't figure out how to get a razor blade into a roll of rockets you live to see another day on this god forsaken planet

Exclusively reading non-fiction so I have tasty little tidbits to drop in conversation hoping nobody asks any follow up questions

God isn't real and the Edward st roundabout is proof

If you want to save your marriage go buy blundstones and flannel and take some professional photos in the woods

Keep calm and chive on? In this economy??

Novemburger is the best thing since sliced Decembread

Baby call me creekside nursery I got a lot growing for you

To be honest lipstick on a pig sounds kinda sexy

Congrats on the pregnancy but I wouldn't go around bragging you've got a "mid" wife

Karma is a bof

Using guasha to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube

Can't wait to segue from brat summer straight into bozo autumn

@lhkrusko big surprise. Will Smith = dust