Re; my recent tweet... the word I meant to type was 'clocks', and not the word that actually appeared in my tweet. My sincerest apologies to those who were shocked or offended by my previous message, which was meant to be helpful. I was in a queue waiting for my takeaway meal.

Your accusations are well rude!

GOAL 5-0 What rhymes with 5-0…? The pub

Moment when Chelsea players were asked who is the best looking player in the team is just too funny, man. Ballack literally picked Mourinho. 😂

Saka’s got Palmer playing friendlies for him while he rests up. Debate over.

Anyone seen one of these

Apparently Win The Dog has been recalled from his walk and is having a lay down in front of the fire at London Colney purely as a precaution.

The two types of Italian managers

Micah Richards was so bang on when he said with Arsenal everyone loves to jump in. We’re doing something other clubs have done previously but now it’s national news. We are ginormous

Spurs new gaffa 😂

Spoke to my family today - all refused to talk to you. You then started hunting down random "anon" relatives. People are holding your shit rag accountable. You've not just "touched a nerve." You've absolutely spurred on a movement ready to take on the Daily Mail. Congrats.

Tony’s chocolate is just Yorkie for people who refuse to eat dominos.

Martin Zubimendi getting subbed on against Southampton next weekend with his “injured knee”:

JK Rowling naming a Scottish prostitute.

Jason Cundy seeing Igor Tudor outside Gatwick Airport

Reebok "Belly's Gonna Get Ya" 2000

Unfortunately he did not consult the people who don't live in London but have seen a lot of memes on Facebook

Well that’s aged like wine

Conan the Sectarian