A question for experts: is it considered good parenting to feed dinner to your five year old such that he need not look up from his iPad?

None of the managers at my new job know how to do a fucking cash out. Kill me now.

No matter how loud you yell at the TV, sir, it makes no difference in the outcome of the game.

TFW: You never have to go to that shitty job again.

"Helen, you look like a Helen..."

Just added the words “busser” and “sidework” to my computer’s dictionary because they are real words in my (restaurant) world.

Thank you to the gentleman in the back for catching that arrant champagne cork in his lap.

My suggestion to the manager this evening is to cut me.

And it worked!!

The cooks must not know that when the kitchen closes at 9:00 p.m. it doesn't close at 8:55 p.m.

ARMARGARITAGEDDON

Once didn't sign an artist because they were unnecessarily rude to a restaurant server. They've done well for themselves. not sorry tho.

What's worse, the customer asking a dumb question or me answering condescendingly, oblivious of the food on my face?

I love watching the brand new, inexperienced servers struggle to uncork difficult regulars' expensive wine.

"We have killer flat breads."

The new server says "I've got a corner!" around literally every corner in the restaurant and I hope she gets fired.

There's about a 50% chance your server, bartender, or other people disagree with your political views. I reiterate, no politics at the bar.

When my manager says "Come get me in my office if you get busy" I imagine it's her way of saying "I'll be playing solitaire if you need me."

At my new job, the burgers come with "burger sauce".

And because somehow burgers are 86'd, the cook says, "If someone orders one just tell them I can make them a buffalo chicken sandwich."