#Vogue: “So how would you describe your style?” Me: “I wear free promotional sunglasses and T-shirts un-ironically.”

Cheeto: “Hey can you give this to the Supreme Court?” *passes note to Pence* “Do you like me? Circle Yes or No”

Dear Trump Campaign, Fuck you. You’re not invited. Stop playing my song. No thanks, Brendon Urie, Panic! At The Disco & company.

Her body was found on the anniversary of #CoryMonteith’s passing. What an awful day. #RIPNayaRivera

What does one wear/do on a #FirstDate over #Zoom?

All I want for Christmas is a hot guy with low self esteem and standards.

#Costco and #SamsClub are testaments to man’s hubris.

Anyone think if they were a tribute in the #HungerGames, they would just step off the podium before a minute was up and just blow up and get it over with? Because I would definitely do that.

Wait, so hear me out: for the #2020Election, we just swap everybody out for the cast of #TheWestWing.

Damn. I never thought I would see Colbert break down. Wow. I get it.

“On your left”

I watched the sneak peek for #PeterJackson’s #Beatles movie & he mentioned there are 56 hours of “unseen footage.” HOW is there STILL unseen Beatles footage after all this time?!

Obsessed with these Trump protestors who broke windows to get into the Capitol Building but then stayed inside the red ropes

Cops are taking selfies with the terrorists.

So, how is everyone enjoying their first US coup? #DCCoup #FuckTrump #ShameOnYou

The fact that NOT ONE terrorist has been shot at is FUCKING. INSANE. #DCCoup #FuckTrump #ShameOnYou

Whoa...#TMobileTuesdays is going BIG for their 5 Year #Thankiversary with awesome deals and free stuff ALL month! Check it out 👉📱🥳 #GetThanked T-Mobile

Wait was that real? Because the sound cut out and Chris Rock’s demeanor totally changed. I don’t think they’d commit that hard if it was a bit. #chrisrock #willsmith

Why do I feel like that punch was personal? Like behind the scenes Will had asked Chris not to do any jokes about him or Jada but then Chris went for it? It wasn’t a mean joke?? #chrisrock #willsmith

Someone at the party I’m at was like “I can’t think of any upsets that happened?” I can think of one. #oscars #Oscars2022 #willsmith #chrisrock