'sup from the future. capitalization still banned. apparently i'm up for an award tonight or something

so tune into spike tv to watch me win the awards for best dlc of the year and sexiest robotic jump kick.

i already and obviously know who won the award because i'm in the future and you're not. which makes you suck more than you probably think

i'm back baby! let's trade phone numbers #phonecallstothefuturecostmoreexceptonverizon

the wonders of modern medicine, and by modern i mean the future RT @madzfox: alphonso What the hell, you're alive?

no news to share, just came back to mock you all a second time. also i have a pretty great pork chop recipe

.@e_marroquin who is duke nukem? is he the guy that owns the space burrito joint on farflax? space burritos > piddly earth burritos

also space tacos are pretty good, but i would stay away from space nachos. i got space chlamydia from those.

for those wondering, i don't really fight so much anymore. my new job is selling corrective metal space boots for scoliosis patients

@psychichazard how do you know about spacecake?!?!?

what's this follow friday nonsense? friday was eliminated in the great human/gorok uprising in late 2100's. oops, have a customer here...

okay, customer gone. poisoned. he wanted a size 8?? what kind of man wears a size 8? these are bullet proof boots, not garden sandals...

hey Sinwar that's not what your mother said last night when she tried on a pair of the boots. (that's all she was wearing.)

well, Sinwar mom jokes aren't common, i was pointing out our coital infidelity. i believe your century calls it "porking" #iporkedyourmom

.Sinwar I never said she was alive.

it's tuesday here, and we're celebrating ridding our language of the insipid capital letter. on that day, the internet was fixed forever

it smells fat in here. did somebody eat a multitude of skinny people?

oh please KᐰYLᐰ surely you've heard of the new- station. i practically own stock in it at this point.

*new-u even. stupid tweetergram machine. it time travels about as good as my last boss sold shoes. ie. its hard when you're dead in a gutter

well @kevinacarter at least i don't look like helena bonham carter had a child with mike tyson's face tattoo.