Last Dad Joke Q: Why did they ask the mushroom to be the Master of Ceremonies? A: Because he's a fungi. [Arghhh. Make them stop, haha!] Your small diversification into bonds isn't going to help you much when both the stock market and the bond market crash together, like they

Predator Badlands - My wife and I watched this movie last night, and we enjoyed it. It's available for free on Hulu. The grumpy, violent predator ends up being the good guy, and he is helped by a girl robot with her legs ripped off. Elle Fanning, who played the girl robot, was

Q: Why do the French people eat snails? A: They don't like fast food. [Snails are very slow. Get it? Haha!] Borrowers who own lots of properties often can't get bank loans because their tax returns are so complex, and because they often run much of their household expenses

Dad's pager went off, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him--lights flashing. Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call. Within seconds, came the

Q: Where do hamsters come from? A: Hamsterdam! [Amazing. AI can take a silly Dad joke and turn it into a belly-laugh.] Blackburne & Sons just had a huge month - the biggest in 46 years - but now our board is almost empty of loans in process. We please need small, remote, and

Q: What does a fifteen-pound mouse say to a cat? A: "Here Kitty, kitty, kitty!" [Sometimes I dangle and wave a cat toy in front of my cat. Wow, he can smack it sooo fast that it's TERRIFYING.]. If you turn me on to two mortgage brokers, I will give you a commercial real

Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One says, "It's ridiculous. He's rich, but he's 93 years old. She's just 26! What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family." "What do you call it?" "We call it a football

A self-driving car in Southern California got stuck going in circles without anyone behind the wheel. Police had to use spike strips to get it to stop, which is the first time in history that cops ever put a stop to making doughnuts. -- Jimmy Fallon [Chuckle] Submit your

USA just cooked Canada LFG!! 🇺🇸 🥳

A 3rd-grade girl came home from school. She was very happy, and her Mom noticed this. Mom asked, "What makes you so happy today?" The girl said, "Mom, we learned how to make babies in school today!" Thinking that 3rd grade was a bit early for that, she asked her daughter to

Q: What breed of dog makes the best Magic Dog? A: The Labracadabrador Retriever Many borrowers - because they own a ton of properties, because they fudge on their taxes, or because their company is losing money - are perfect for Blackburne & Sons. Small, remote, or unusual

Trump's Proposed Mar-a-Lago Accord hubs.la/Q044kLWv0

Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? A: The “P” is silent. [This one particularly tickled me. Haha!] Using my 90-minute training manual, you can learn to underwrite commercial real estate loans. You will master dozens of new CREF terms. And its free!

"Meanwhile, researchers in Canada say they have discovered the part of the brain that is used to make decisions, and this is weird: If you're married, it's actually located in your wife's brain." -- Jimmy Fallon [Chuckle] Submit your commercial real estate loan to 750 hungry

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "We don't serve your type". [Kinda mean]. Submit your commercial real estate loan to 750 hungry commercial lenders in just four minutes for free. C-Loans. hubs.la/Q0445LDK0

Starlink, that part of SpaceX that provides internet connectivity worldwide using 9,500 satellites, is already quite profitable. According to Grok, Starlink has reached around 10 million subscribers, providing SpaceX around $16 billion in revenue. Starlink Mini now costs less

"You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams." - Rita Rudner [Chuckle] Do you even know how 11% first trust deeds work? Download our free book. hubs.la/Q0445NKS0

I just wrote to my sons, "Do you remember the old saying, 'Better to have people think you're an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt?'" Right now, the world is uncertain whether a hypersonic missile can hit a carrier. There is at least a little doubt. If this

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso." -- Rita Rudner [AI made this pic for my joke. Wow. Perfect.] We particularly like first mortgages on junky little mobile home parks. hubs.la/Q0445NZW0

"They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy. Then, then they have one." -- Rita Rudner [Chuckle] Real estate tends to fall by 45% during great recessions. If you own a commercial first trust deed that started at 58% LTV, and a great recession