This is more inspiring than any set I have seen in the last 3 years

I want an episode of Kill Tony at Fort Bragg. Every participant is a meth addicted special forces guy with 276 confirmed kills who walks on stage after stabbing their best friend.

You guys ever eavesdrop on a date so much they start speaking in another language

I put my SSRIs under my tongue and told everyone at work I make dubstep

Beer making you hungover is a top 10 anime betrayal

You have to have a lot of balls to have an intermission at your show and no orange slices for the comics

Vancouver open mics are part of MK-Ultra

This is what it sounds like when I fart

Me to female comics that bring their boyfriend into the green room: Yo leave your bitch at home

I don't wanna hear about how 2000's culture is back until I hear white dudes saying "score!" again

Guys we need to make going on Kill Tony an olympic event!!!

The CIA got the idea for mind control from playing Nintendogs

If Zionists are native to the Middle East how come they all look like they get romantic with a cabbage at night

Achmed the DEAD terrorist? Why did we kill him if he's so dang funny?

If you are banging a cops wife we need you to put in overtime

Me whispering to myself watching everyone's reels: Please, please stop

We’re exposing the full scope of a Toronto Police operation targetting pro-Palestine activism. Night raids, surveillance, cultivating informants, crashing university lectures, and trumped-up “hate crime” charges—all to "incapacitate" a growing movement. breachmedia.ca/inside-the-sho…

Between our grocery prices and our cell packages, it's no wonder why banana phone never took off here

You should have to post your bank balance before you're allowed to write an opinion piece in a newspaper