[cory in the house theme song plays] hey, guys. this is my first tweet, i know it sucks. please don’t be mean, i have enough money to have you k—.

these fatherly shirts were a mistake. x.com/exofancms/stat…

me, singing one note during vocal training: god, that was exhausting. where’s my glass of water?

this new icon makes me laughsosmuch who’s booty am i checking out?

the only blessed one here is me. touches hand softly to chest. look how radiant she is. x.com/netizenbuzz_hq…

the green hair fucking ended me. x.com/netizenbuzz_hq…

HELEFT THE MULLET AT HOME. I WHEEZED. x.com/netizenbuzz_hq…

this is important. x.com/exofancms/stat…

the door's locked for a reason. x.com/NetizenBUZZ_HQ…

i want to nap. do you think my chauffeur will let me snooze in the back seat.

why do me and tequila have to have such a risky relationship?

you could step on me and i'd thank you. x.com/MiNSEOKiSMEH/s…

yeah, @ me so we can smash in the semi-public. x.com/NetizenBUZZ_HQ…

why does everyone care who i'm smashing.

the whole timeline is just gossip. grabs bottle, grabs popcorn. continue.

i’m Hot.