I am currently going through my “Hot Mess” era. Why just the other day I was having Halibut Meuniere and instead of having a Mendocino Chardonnay, I paired it with an Argentinian Malbec like an absolute barbarian! Big Daddy Crane plays by his own rules.

Went to my first circuit party last night. I can’t hear anything this morning, but that’s only because the DJ played music that simply made mine own boo-tay clap!

Here is my yearly apology for my African Art collection. I just found out I’m wanted in multiple countries on appropriation charges. I’ll gladly turn myself in post haste. #HappyJuneteenth

Daphne came to brunch wearing the new shawl i got her from Milan. I said it looked good on her… but, I must say, it wasn’t until I saw the garment in person that I realized it made Daphne look like she had murdered an animal, skinned it, and now wears its hind as trophy.

I swear - I only joined Sniffies because I thought it was a site to share allergy grievances! And yes I realize now that I shouldn’t have put in my profile that “I was in need of a good blow!” I MEANT MY NOSE!

I met the nicest man! He’s a sommelier with front row tickets to a tribute for operas greatest singer: Cecilia Bartoli! Who says you can’t meet nice men at a #CircuitParty?

In my Victorian era.

ATTENTION SEATTLE Local restaurant CubezNos - is about to close! It’s like Quiznos but all 🥪s are named after famous Cubist artists. This is your last chance to try the Pablo Pastrami, the Paul Cèzann-wich, and the Salvador Deli - Tray- which is a marinated tower of cubed meat.

I thought I was offending my patients suffering from “extreme anxiety when NOT attending activities” when I decided to name my coping workshop: “FOMO with the HOMO” … ultimately everyone showed up. They didn’t want to miss out.

My patient had a fear of cats 🐈. I took him to an alley where I knew a stray would be. However two men were back there turning tricks! I apologized but my patient admitted that the sight of it showed him he too was gay! He’s still averse to pussys… but of all kinds now. 🐱

Bulldog gaffawed at the idea of me being of equal sexual energies as Megan Thee Stallion! I was so mad I simply took my handkerchief and threw it in Bulldog’s face. And as it gently wafted to the floor he knew thats what happens when you mess with bad bitches like Megan and I.

Sorry I can’t galavant tonight lads. I’ve got my fear of intimacy workshop to lead. But I won’t stay long. Once I’m done with the session all those freaks want to do is connect with ME! … No thanks.

Me Mojo Dojo Casa House eh tu Mojo Dojo Casa House, #Ken

I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie -self centering, yet still self aware - world.

Note to self: Don’t make a tongue in cheek joke whilst getting one’s own ass ate. It really kills the mood at an orgy. #TossedSaladIndeed

A man at a bar asked if we could go back to my place so I could fully service him. I said yes! However after the foot massages, my world famous Coq Au Vin, and offering to launder his garments - he left! Ugh. Men! They wouldn’t know good service if it smacked them in the dick!

I’ve made a list of very HOMOPHOBIC things: - sports. The lot of them. - white wine & red meat 🥩 - charcuterie boards with absolutely no jam. - Beer - Sperry Topsiders worn anywhere except onboard a boat or in a Ralph Lauren ad. - The entire 1990s decade. - Math

I got to do a little road trip with my new GAY pals! They handed me the AUX cord and told me to put on some road tunes! I of course chose Ferruccio Busoni’s remarkable Piano Concerto from 1904. Its an easy 70 minutes listen. They left me on the side of the road near Yosemite.

Just reminding everyone that I have Mishiko Kakutani’s phone number.