Ladybird There’s an old joke. An escalator can’t break. It just transforms into stairs.

Will people be raptured according to class?

Finally! 👏🏼 Hold him to this.

I didn’t get my check from George Soros this month. Guess it’s time to quit pretending like I care about free speech in human rights.

Me- *Something decently witty Twitter void of no return-I’ll take that!

Discovered that my 9yo has stand-up-in-the-aisle-as-soon-as-the-plane-lands tendencies and I’m not sure where I went wrong

Trump‘s spirit animal:

Anyway… what about them Epstein files?

Happy birthday Phil Hartman

Spotted in the wild

Remember when a crime would happen & there’d be a full investigation before the evidence showed up online?

Always upholding the dignity of his office. Stay classy.

I don't get enough sleep for this *gestures at everything*

Faaaaake News!

I can name that song in 237 notes…

Remember, a noun is a person, place or a thing. And a pronoun is now…just a box of trouble.

Keeping promises is what matters.

You can’t conclusively prove you’re not a robot.