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turns out building that city on rock and roll was a fire code violation.

Twitter is like a cult where no one follows the leader

For a good time call literally anyone else

thank god biden isn't alive to see this

[foreboding-shift-in-the-atmosphere enters the chat]

I consider all of my thoughts to be intrusive

He did a Nazi salute twice, with gusto. This is not an accident.

Imagine being American. How embarrassing.

How does one "calm their tits"? Mine are so agitated.

imagine wanting to be popular so bad you become a nazi

If what Elon did wasn’t a Nazi salute then do it tomorrow at work.

Sorry for being myself again

My mental health is being held together by an old piece of bubblegum.

[me pouring bacon grease down the drain] Nothing matters anymore.

I enjoy winning arguments by hitting the other person over the head with a shovel

I'm always scared when my phone rings because I don't want it to do that.

I'm just glad I'm not alive to witness any of this. Shout out to being dead inside.

"Downward Spiral" is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

I'm a bad bitch. Truly exceptional at being bad at everything.

I am sorry, guys, I can't continue to post on Twitter when the owner is a Nazi. Love you guys! You can find me at bsky.app/profile/funnys…