My favorite part of baseball is when the manager goes to the mound to tell the pitcher he loves him

In the summer of 2021, the bottom of Minnehaha Falls was a clumpy smear of mud. Believe that good things are happening.

Just realized Trump is gonna be arraigned during the week of the passion of Christ. Prepare for some epic meme-ing.

PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 Trump’s the Notorious P.I.G.

You know Jesus wasn’t actually white because no 33-year old white guy can talk that much without mentioning how he’s getting into brewing his own beer

I'll straight up wear a windbreaker to play polo and a polo shirt to break wind. I really don't give a shit anymore.

Next time you hear from a hater, remember there's a line of people that stretches around the block of people who want to hug you when you're weary. There's like six miles of just the moms and grandmas...

Adorable footage of the former guy running a thick piece of rope through the empty space between his ears:

“Whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing.” – Dwight Schrute And what is the best way to spot an idiot? Look for the person who is cruel.

Next time some rich white person wants to take Sam Alito on an expensive trip, please take him to see the Titanic.

sorry, I don’t care about the Russia situation rn. I just got a falafel plate and I got full before I could eat the last falafel and so now I just have one falafel leftover so what am I gonna do with that

I wanted to share some of my thoughts on today's Supreme Court decision on affirmative action:

Every time I doubt myself I remind myself that I'm a straight white male with no idea of what I'm talking about and then the confidence starts flowing

“My entire career path was determined for me when I was 6 years old, watching reruns of I LOVE LUCY on TV and thinking about making people laugh.” — Paul Reubens (1952-2023) #RIPPaulReubens

I don’t understand how COVID is spiking again after we’ve tried everything from pretending it’s over to pretending it never happened

Stop saying it’s unprecedented, he gets indicted every week.

Struggling to figure out how 8 billionaires who want to replace workers with robots are losing the narrative to 10,000 professional storytellers and the 150,000 hottest people in the world

REMEMBER: If you’re in line to get your mugshot taken, stay in line!!!

Sheriff Witt & others taking officers on strike should explain why they will only work if they’re not banned from “placing students face-down in the prone position, restricting their breathing, or putting pressure on the upper body, unless there's a threat of death or injury.”