Doing a bus tour of venues too small to accommodate a bus is more of a ball ache than driving the fucking thing in a van. Discuss.

Backstage top trumps - No windows ✅ - 400 dB ✅ - No WiFi ✅ - No phone signal ✅ - Inexplicably filthy ✅ - Inadequate seating / room for the tour party ✅ - Access to the stage is still through the crowd ✅

I am staying in a hotel full of feral children.

This twitter account has been quiet for a bit because I stopped working for cunts.

Today’s rider & buyout: £6 total. For everyone, not each.

The dream: a car tour during which the artist has no desire to control the music.

- Lock - Toilet Seat - Toilet Paper Pick two.

Fucking hell this festival’s signage is bad.

“Your set was great until you ran over”

Very “Sunday at a festival” vibes at Electric Picnic. No one knows what’s happening and even less people care.

The stage smells of vomit.

I’ve had to go sit in a corner for a bit to let my anger at the house engineer subside.

Ideal time to test the fire alarm is mid soundcheck.

Considerate vocalists go elsewhere to warm up.

Fuck I love sitting in loud, dark, dirty rooms for extended periods of time.

It’s 90db in this dressing room.

When we arrived at Yesterday’s venue the stage was covered in rubbish, the venue was covered in rubbish and the dressing room was full of rubbish. The house tech was standing at the back of the room quietly changing a plug in the dark.

Going through the rider with a highlighter to indicate what bits haven’t been read.

Someone stole my artists shoes from stage last night. Their only pair.