Keep a straight face. . . . Inhale a single, very deep breath. . . . Pause. . . . ❝B r u h.❞

❝Sooooo-. . . Sup-?❞

♡• If Reese could be a song - this would be it-! youtu.be/FpuR8gR0Dj4

❝Dude, guinea pigs are misunderstood as /fuck/-.❞

❝Bare with me, campfire-. /Guinea/ - /pigs/. So, you'd think - 'oh, a pig from Guinea', right? W r o n g-. They're these cute little ten inch fluffy fuckers from /anywhere/ on Remnant-. N' we call them pigs! That'd be like if I called you 'Vacuo Fish' - but /forever/-.❞

❝C'mon, matchstick - don't be like that-. We both know my brain /actually/ melted when I first spotted you~.❞

❝No, I do /not/ fuck random guys. . . . Girls on the other hand-.❞

D a b s

Dabs harder in an attempt to get someone's attention-.

Reese is very casually chowing down on a twenty-two inch pizza - on her own. Anyone want a slice?

❝. . . So - I just had this crazy fuckin' thought, right? You ready? How can we be sure that the light turns off when we close the fridge? We can't. . . Like - the door's already closed-.❞

❝Maybe on your fancy /new/ fridges-. But in the dorm - we've got this thing from like - the eighteen hundreds-. It looks more like an iron maiden than a fridge-.❞

❝. . . Torchie - I might be a /smidge/ off my face, but I'm not /that/ stupid-.❞

❝I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that-.❞

❝Hey, Matchstick! 𝙁𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙢𝙚.❞

<-- Throws a pistol clip at the reader.

♡• S T O L E N

❝I'm feelin extra gay today-.❞

♡• Y'know, sometimes I really hate my brain-.

❝Y'know, if you really think about it-. . . Cheese is just milk loaf-.❞