Nurse math is having an order for 0.5mg of Ativan but pulling up the whole 2mg

My child: Mommy, what should I be when I grow up? Me: you can be anything you want, sweetie, as long as it’s not a floor nurse.

Floor nurses sure complain a lot about AC IV’s despite not even being able to place one.

If you love being financially abused and taken advantage of then nursing is the perfect fit for you!

When your card declines in therapy so they bring in the unit bully and make you give report to her.

Type in, “Being a nurse sucks because” and let predictive text do the rest.

Oh hey beautiful 🥺 👉👈 could you please do me a favor 👀🫣?? Can you provide 🫶patient centered care🫶 in our profit centered hospital🤭for less than living wages 😍🤑because it’s your calling 🫡👩‍⚕️? Love, 💖Hospital admin💖

They should make nursing school more realistic and have you do your nursing math exam while someone is dying right in front of you and their family member is screaming while you try to remember if you’re adding 0.2 mcg/kg/min or 0.02 mcg/kg/min🧠💉👩🏻‍⚕️🪦

RIP Florence Nightengale you would have loved nursing doses

RIP Florence Nightengale you would have loved annual training modules

Me waxing my patients chest hair with the AED pads. Not demure. Not mindful.

What’s worse - CNAs that act like RNs or RTs that act like MD’s?

Healthcare workers: We’re burnt out because there isn’t enough staff or support. Administration: wow that’s crazy. have you tried being more resilient and managing your time better?

[pulling back my aggressive dog] sorry lol he can tell you have idiopathic gastroparesis.

[Holding back my aggressive dog] sorry lol he can tell you’re a floor nurse.

All ER nurses do is make up vitals and lie during report - Respirations:16 🙏🏼

When that late stage burnout hits and you don’t care about getting fired or written up anymore - that’s when you achieve true inner peace and freedom.

I took my patient over to CT with a hand IV and they took me out back and shot me.

Me: *gets assaulted by a psychotic patient at shift change.* The email I get from “quality improvement”: You forgot to initial the psych crisis check list that no one looks at but me. Please do better next time.”

My nursing cover letter: I love helping people 💗 I love having as many patients as possible 💗 I love your generic and cliche hospital mission and deserve to be a pawn in your capitalist pursuit of profit over patient safety 💗I love not having time to eat, drink, or pee 💗