WTF?!

arrest this person

advertising at work

Perfect except for pee

WANTED: Soups to try. I haven’t had enough and I’m not eating solids anymore. Too much effort during a pandemic. Let me try your soups.

Just some 💩

Trouble in Massachusetts. Submitted by Annika L.

The economy (VHS tape sales from Martha in the grey house) on our street is booming (she finally sold one of her 3 Forrest Gump copies and found some rare Disney tapes that have dicks on them)

My neighbor is trying to kill me (with kindness)! Send help

FOR SALE: I will come to your house or we can find a neutral meeting place and I’ll talk at you about everything I’ve learned from listening to Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan podcast episodes. Bring multiple meals.

Trouble in paradise

Nature vs Nurture

ALL COPS ARE BUTTHOLES

Buy our neighborhood, Elon! It’s a lot like Twitter. It started out fun and light but now we spend every night screaming at each other over our horrible opinions

farting in my mailbox (via reddit)

Help! (Submitted by Kaytee)

WANTED: badass granny to make out with in public. I am a bit of a Travis barker type and i am looking for my Quartney. We can go to Disneyland for goth day and take many pictures to your liking. Drink my blood.

$$$ FOR RENT: USED DIGITAL CAMERA. Do you want to lease my camera that has thousands of strange and sad pictures that you can look at. Some of birds, mostly me. Lots of baggage. $$$

Oceans 1

polly wants an AirPods #parrot