Let’s please be aware of our word choice today folks!

In Ukraine they’re using F-16s to fight Russia. Meanwhile, in the US anyone who wants can buy an F150. smh

Remember when grape jelly came in drinking glasses that your grandma kept for 40 years?

Me, first thing in the morning: It's still dark outside, so I better be as quiet as possible. My dog: I need to go out and scream at my friend next door and maybe rouse every dog in the neighborhood.

Boilerplate text for all new restaurants in the Midwest: “Fueled by our love for traveling to [REGION], we decided to bring a taste of [COUNTRY OR ETHNICITY] cuisine to [SMALL CITY].”

If Haitians can walk up to geese, grab them by the neck, and carry them away they deserve to be here more than anyone. They should rule this place.

Knowing what we know about Sea World, does that make the shark the hero in Jaws 3D?

The Highway Patrol should never be allowed to leave highways. They shouldn't be able to chase you on a street, avenue, boulevard, or road.

I'm telling you, this new notebook and pen are really going to kickstart my productivity. I'm going to get so much done.

Two entertainment tropes I will always love: seemingly normal character is a retired assassin and has to come out of retirement to save their family; characters live an entire life in an alternate reality and then come back to the real world.

If you use large icons in #iOS18 you get this weird empty space at the bottom (on my 6.7” phone). Seems like a waste of space. #Apple #iPhone

Shout out to JC Penney and Dillard’s for heroically holding up the malls of America.

Progressive lenses are like some kind of monkey paw wish. You get magical vision but you also can’t walk down stairs or see out of 33% of your glasses.

I really hate it when there isn’t a satisfying conclusion to an Unsolved Mysteries episode

It’s crazy how they used to get physical payslips. Like, I don’t even wear skirts.

Is Duolingo trying to groom me?