how much unc could a chopped unc unc if a chopped unc could chop unc

The three stooges if they had an iphone: i phone? *holds phone up to eye* hello? Hello? There’s nobody there (I copied this verbatim from a scene in the Three Stooges 2012 movie. MLA Format Source: “The Three Stooges ‘iPhone’ Movie Clip.” YouTube, 2012, youtu.be/3aZ6M3Kml-E?si…)

salting the joker stairs

#conceptualgiggles

(after my date orders ten pieces of salmon sashimi) lol grizzly bear ass meal! (realizing she might have grizzly bear friends or family) Mighty and sophisticated animals, they are

Imagine, if you will, the year 2095. You’re passing by a retirement home. It’s Bingo Night. Gangnam Style gently echoes through the open windows.

Yeah….I think i’ll have another glass of #lactaid milk!

(tom holland, daydreaming again at the crack of dawn about a remake of Mulholland Drive called Tomholland Drive before Zendaya says good morning, snapping him out of it) what?

Me 3 hours ago

Tuesday. Or as I call it, Monday: The Sequel—a "Part 2 Electric Boogaloo" forged in caffeine and chaos. Let the games begin! 🚀🤣

15 year old Paul McCartney passing a sign that says “The Childhood Home Of John Lennon”: Hmm this John Lennon guy sounds interesting

Every morning my 12 year old son, who has never seen Seinfeld, enters my bedroom exactly like Kramer enters Jerry’s apartment. I need to start preparing for a lifetime of schemes and shenanigans.

Today one of my 7th graders was like “Mr Mert, say 6-7” and I asked why and he said “for old times sake”

I had a dream Markiplier had a shift in his creative output and focused on becoming "safety Markiplier" but I never got to see what that actually was because my dog got in my room and started chewing on my foot

(paranoid caveman who was recently thawed out and has secretly been blending into modern society as a bartender after being asked for a drink “on the rocks”) what did you just say

My fan art of the three stooges

Living large, bart and marge. Noxious odor, Lisa Homer. #poetry