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Can you believe I was the source of my own problems all along? It's always the last person you think.

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Just smoke cigarettes you fucking pussies.

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90’s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage

Sorry I’m late I was pumping up the jam.

Share a photo with water in it! 🌊

OH MY GOD

ʞɹıɯ𝕊

Me, back in the gym after vacation.

Or the players would sign the dildos and throw them back!!

Shoutout to people who are kind simply because it’s who they are. No strings attached, no hidden motives—just pure goodness in the way they move through life….these are your people

It's been too long since I've enjoyed a good pounding of the surf.

Denmark zoo invites people to donate pets as predator meals: komonews.com/news/offbeat/d…

Wall to wall sunshine is the best forecast I've ever heard.

Nothing should cause you to worry about seed oils like a NYT article saying that you should not worry about seed oils.

Can someone please tell me why Democrats think only the government is capable of doing cancer research?

The moment you realize that queso is just a warm cheese smoothie the second half of your life begins

Don't even know how this work week can have yet another day in it, incredible stamina. LFG

May your joy be relentless.