What we got here is pretty much yr average #RIFC coffee-milk chuggers talking about how awesome The Bonanza is for about an hour. Gonna tell my kids El Clamico is named after Frank Pepe’s white clam pie. #fortresshartford #elclaimico #soccer #nopyronoparty #fireworks #USL

That’s 24% more dough for: -Fireworks -Natty Lights -bail -large green prophylactics -Dillon plushies Essentially 24% more partying in the parking lot! See you Saturday. #fortresshartford #hartfordathletic #USLC #USL #soccer #hartford

I’ll tell you where he’s NOT; Providence county superior court, where I spent MY morning…. #fortresshartford #hartfordatletic #USL #humpday #soccer #hartfordultra #misdemeanorfireworkscharge

We’re in the midst of a housing crisis but I’m living rent free in the mind of every #RIFC fan this week. Gonna pound some natty lights & listen to these all the way wiener lovers talk about ME for an hour+ #Fireworks #Freedom #Football #FortressHartford #FourteenNattyLights

I predict fireworks on and off the field this Saturday. Las Vegas is NOT ready for the wrath of The Bonanza. Have you ever had DOZENS of people ’boo’ you…AT THE SAME TIME?! Welcome to the insurance capital of the world… #fortresshartford #USL #USLC #idriveaPTcruiser #soccer

Your honor, Exhibit A that I am Hartford Athletic ‘s #1 ULTRA! Shout out to Smithfield PD for being so gentle w/ me. Shout out The Bonanza (esp. Dillon) for the bail money & the ride. Can’t wait to CRUSH Vegas (& some natty lights) tomorrow. Soft hands, loose cuffs, can’t lose!

Hartford is #1 in my heart! Big win for the boys in blue (& green) yesterday. Dillon blew me a kiss...I felt #blessed. Cranked Journey's "Greatest Hits" CD in the PT Cruiser on the ride home. #FortressHartford Hartford Athletic #USL #USLC #soccer #oneHARTbeat

Happy Monday! Pounded 3 of these steamed burgers before the game Saturday & lemme tell ya; they were messy goin’ in & messy comin’ out. #hartburn Sorry, that may be “tmi” as the kids say. But yeah, laid low yesterday and back to work today. #fortresshartford #usl #oneHARTbeat

Eleventh place in eleven months; coincidence? I think not. It’s all part of the plan. Def pouring one out for #Sakiewicz this Saturday. #jahbless #USL #fortresshartford #oneHARTbeat #hartford #soccer #hartfordathletic #uslplayoffs #football #idriveaPTcruiser

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DON!! 🎉🥳🎊 BRING ON THE CLOWN 🤡 SHIRTS ON SALE NOW!!! GET EM BEFORE THEY GET ME!!! ihateyourclub.com/product-page/u…

Breakfast of champions on game day! LFG Hartfooooooord. I’m getting to the lot at 4:30 if anyone wants to hang. I’ll be blasting Bob Seger out of my PT Cruiser. #USL #fortresshartford #hartfordathletic #soccer #football #PTCruiser Hartford Athletic #hartford #oneHARTbeat

Dillon with the sick burn!

Lotta babes have followed me recently (def not bots! Thank, Elon Musk). I guess what they say is true; 🎵 Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a Hartford fan 🎵 (to the tune of ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man”) I heard they’re called “Zed Zed Top” in England #fortresshartford #hartfordatletic

My Hartford Athletic have been eliminated from USL Players Shield contention. There's not enough Natty Light in the world to drown my sorrows. #fortresshartford #nattylight #USL #USLPlayersShield #soccer #football #idriveaPTcruiser #hartford

Really hoping we can beat #Indy11 today. Indy 11….dumb name. Sounds like the name of an 11 hour playlist that starts with some obscure Pavement b-side. Def not the kinda ANTHEMS blasting outta my Party Time Cruiser. #usl #fortresshartford #hartfordathletic #soccer #ptcruiser

Wednesday nite games are ROUGH. Gotta keep it under 8 Natty lights or tomorrow will DRAG….especially if Hartford Athletic don’t win. C’mon Dillion! #hartfordfortress #oneHARTbeat #memphis901 #USL #soccer #humpday #idriveaPTCruiser

Sorry I’ve been MIA lately, guys. Ex-wife stuff (my man #Elon knows what I’m talkin’ about). Anyway, #hartfordathletic been on FIRE lately. We’re def making it to the playoffs. Got’em right where we want’em. Loudoun’s going DOWN. #USL #Loudoun #soccer #idriveaPTcruiser

Don't get me wrong, I'm down with OPP...but these look like #RIFC jerseys!!! Almost puked up my 'Brats & Nats' breakfast (Bratwursts+Natty Lights) when I saw this.... #fortresshartford #hartfordathletic #USL #soccer #playoffs #loudounUnitedFC #football #OPP #idriveaPTcruiser

No jokes today. Give if you can.... #USL #RIFC #rhodeislandFC #USLC #soccer #football #defiance1636 #tidetalk #tidetalkpodcast

RIFC and the Defiance 1636 ⚓️ boys are all pretty jealous of our parking situation down here in #Hartford I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Hartford Athletic has the greatest parking lots in the USLC. I should know…I’ve spent hours crying there! #USL #USLC