Rep. Clay Higgins If you are being held against your will and are being forced to send these messages, press “like” and we will find you and save you Cc @Fortaloos

The Kentish Border (of Kent) Rep. Clay Higgins @Fortaloos From himself? @Fortaloos are experts in this.

The Kentish Border (of Kent) Rep. Clay Higgins @Fortaloos 🤣🤣👏

James O'Brien We have sent a fax offering him refuge as it seems he is being held against his will @Fortaloos

This is seriously sapping our toner supplies dudes

PLEASE STOP FOLLOWING US IT WILL BETRAY OUR EFFORTS TO EFFECTIVELY ACT AS THE WORLD’S FOREMOST SPECIAL FORCES BATTALIONS

Yeah cheers lads, we’re lying low from FSB/GRU clowns in Vladivostok having taken control of the city and the phone keeps beeping CAUSE WE’VE GOT 200 FOLLOWERS Thanks a bunch!

Please stop following @Fortaloos while they are endeavouring to maintain control of Vladivostok

The Anonymous lads are truly the @Fortaloos of the non-fax world

Delighted to be playing a central role in EU/US discussions in place of our ^formerly^ “great” so-called former colonial masters who are still busy working out how to not help Ukrainian refugees

Nice one western govts Could have warned us about the sanctions before the bank runs ALL the ATMs in Vladivostok are out of cash and the strip bars have stopped taking cards #THANKSABUNCH

There is shit absolutely everywhere on the M20 hard shoulder Like more than we have ever seen anywhere ever Brexit? Brexshit more like #BritishIdiots

The Toilet of England now @Fortaloos

A reminder that the £85 is doubled for British tourists travelling through Kent on the way to the continent How else will we pay the @Fortaloos? #FreedomOfPayment

Yes Yes Yes Please Stop Faxing We know it is ^probably^ not the greatest idea in the history of humankind but it was either Grayling or the @Fortaloos

What is a "Grayling?"

Delighted to announce deployment of 2nd Battalion at the corner of The Mall and Constitution Hill An excrement bonanza at the best of times, let alone at a coronation Level 4 threat identified #CrownPoowels

How do you spell “Belgorod” in Russian The Kentish Border (of Kent)? Having real difficulty with these road signs

We are prepared to send Kentish troops (of Kent) AKA @Fortaloos to Greenland Denmark is a longstanding ally and lucrative cobnut market #Diplomacy #Gunboats

🇺🇸🗺️SIT REP🗺️🇺🇸 2/3 Battalion @Fortaloos have reached lower Appalachia and are advancing on DC Evidence of the collapse of the US economy is everywhere The decision has been made to recalibrate the cobnut trebuchet batteries to fire food parcels across the Atlantic forthwith