Stop cutting steaks into heart shapes, please and thank you.

“Is It Cake?” The question should be “Which NetFlix program director needs to be punched in the face for this?” #IsItCake

Good for Amy Schumer … roasted the entire room at the Oscars, didn’t get slapped once.

Happy Interns Get To Do Graphic Design Day!

Gilbert Gottfried could even make Tic Tac Toe funny…

Instagram today is nothing but tacos. Saved you a click. #CincodeMayo

Who’s the fourth in this Mount Rushmore?

Mick Jagger looks awful

Fireworks just don’t seem appropriate this year.

The people who think life begins at conception also think it began 6,000 years ago.

We will adopt your baby.

Anybody who’s ever worked in a kitchen and isn’t watching The Bear is doing it wrong.

I just finished the last episode of The Bear… I am not OK. #TheBearFX

“How’s your 2022 going?”

Dear Instagram, what happened to you?

Just threw out all of the Chinese takeout containers being used as Tupperware and I’ve never felt more alive.