Couples that watch Jools Holland’s Hootenanny doomed to split thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-ente…

I took a big pay cut to follow my dream, says patronising wanker thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/…

FT and a 2-2 draw at Brantham after leading twice with both goals from Jack Watson

Someone on Facebook has been for a run thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/so…

‘Arseface’ is least popular baby name buff.ly/2iVYPCr

Synthetic DNA ‘could create Brexiter who is not a bellend’ thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-t…

21mins and it's 1-0, Jack Watson, he don't just score penalties he scores 30 yarders too, great finish against his old club

Trump’s top adviser is little kid who talks bollocks thedailymash.co.uk/news/internati…

There it is 👍🏻 Soham Town Rangers FC Newmarket Town F.C St Neots Town F.C. Official Mildenhall Town FC Histon Football Club

Crowdfund started to have Nigel Farage fired into the sun buff.ly/2pvVzRX

Every time I see Theresa May, my brain autocorrects her to this

Just realised what T May’s robotic responses remind me of: early 80’s text adventures. Like a basic text parser running on a ZX Spectrum.

The Internet of Things

I know the mercury prize is basically a bag of pointless shit but Mumford and sons on the judging panel? For a music prize? Seriously?