Fly J (@flyj_) 's Twitter Profile
Fly J

@flyj_

I tried to push an alien out of my vagina, but it didn’t work. Wannabe writer.

ID: 2594905988

linkhttps://twitter.com/search?q=from%3A%40FlyJ_%2Fexclude%3Areplies calendar_today29-06-2014 14:53:35

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Fly J (@flyj_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I wanted to get off the couch and get a glass of water, but I'm too lazy to move, so I decided to tweet about it instead.

Fly J (@flyj_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Your call is important to us. Please wait on the line until you're dead and an agent will be with you shortly after that.

Fly J (@flyj_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

please don't be laundry in here, please don't be laundry in here, please don't be laundry in here... -me opening the dryer

Fly J (@flyj_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

People keep inviting me to attend their events like they don’t know I have a dog at home who I’d rather hang out with.