how can you have a sugar bowl and not even invite the team from Big Rock Candy Mountain?! im done with college football

unfortunately you have to live your life and suffer to get inspiration

took a nap and somehow got suicidal for a moment while waking up

Every day is a gift

BREAKING: Eyewitnesses report the boys have reversed course and "are heading for a hootenanny." *John Wick turns off news report* Let's get jiggy with it

This is how I hand out water as a volunteer at the local 5k

The Weinermobile should always go 50mph and if it drops below 50mph it explodes

*whispering* If John Leguizamo can do it, I can do it

TRUMP *bursts into War Room holding picture of The Hamburglar grinning ear-to-ear*  "You're all sitting in here and he's out there laughing in our faces!"

Imagine inventing a food and calling it Bulogi 🤣🤣🤣

You're telling me this fruit is of the loom?

Porky Pig. The Porky is short for Porkert.

Rap music. More like wrap it up

You're telling me this pie is made out of the moon?